


The Dinner Date

by Mrs_Colette



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 15:17:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14772101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_Colette/pseuds/Mrs_Colette
Summary: Frustrated with her spending habits, Marcus dumps Pansy. Desperate to win him back, she asks a friend of a friend for a favor. Tony accepts, trying to prove to Pepper he is perfectly fine without her.Written for May's Roll-A-Drabble for the Marvelously Magical Fanfiction group. My spiring was Pansy/Tony Stark, and my trope was fake dating. Enjoy!**I own nothing and I am exceedingly grateful to JK for letting us play in this wonderful world she has created.**





	The Dinner Date

“So let me get this straight. You want me to go to a dinner with you wearing this fancy bathrobe, drink wine made by goblins while I eat a meal cooked by elves, and let you rummage around in my brain afterward?” Tony asked, eyebrow raised.

“Exactly,” Pansy said, an excited look on her slightly masculine face. “I'll make sure some details of the evening get back to Paprika-”

“Pepper,” Tony bit out, frowning.

“Sure, whatever, and Marcus will be so jealous he'll forget all about my last shopping trip and take me back. I can probably convince Draco to come and meet with you too, Hermione has been bugging him to start expanding into Muggle tech.”

“Muggle?” Tony questioned. “Wait, Hermione? How do you know Sabrina? And who is Draco?”

“I don't know anyone named Sabrina. Hermione and Draco became friends during law school or something. Muggles are Non magical people, like you,” Pansy replied airily, waving her hand in dismissal. “I don't understand the appeal of it myself, but she's constantly whinging on about stellphones or some other nonsense.”

“Cellphones.”

“Exactly! So, do we have a deal?” Pansy asked, standing to leave.

“Tell me more about those wands,” Tony said, walking with her out of the lab.

“Um, they're magical and made of wood. Nothing exciting.”

“Are they all the same? Most magicians that I've seen all have the same wand, not very imaginative.”

“No, they're all quite different. Here,” she replied, handing hers over.

“This is a wand? Are you serious? It looks like someone just wandered into their backyard and handed you a stick. I've never seen Sabrina’s wand, is it small like yours?” Tony asked waving the piece of wood with a flourish.

“It's not small, it's 9 and ¾ inches long! Perfectly acceptable for a witch of my height,” Pansy said, offended.

“So they come in different sizes? Does a bigger wand mean more power? Wait, don't answer that. I'm just going to assume this is one of those more how you use it type situations. Although I can't imagine it would feel all that pleasant to be fighting some guy who whips out like a foot long wand while you've got a little one like this. I wonder if wizards get wand envy?”

“I have literally no idea what you're talking about” Pansy huffed, annoyed. “Do we have a deal?”

“Sure, why the hell not. Although is the brain thing negotiable? I've seen a lot of weird shit you know, practically an expert by now. Sabrina turned Thor’s hair into snakes once when he interrupted date night. Not to mention, oh I don't know, aliens? I'd like to keep the memory of goblin wine, I think. Will there be any goblins at this party?”

“Goblins? Of course not, they hate us. Why would anyone invite a goblin to a dinner party anyway? That's absurd.”

“But you drink their wine? That doesn't seem at all odd to you?”

“It's the best,” Pansy said, snatching her wand back from Tony, who was still waving it around in the air. “Fine, I'll leave your brain alone. I'll be back in three hours, make sure you're ready.” With that, Pansy disappeared with a slight pop.

“How long can it take to put on a bathrobe?” Tony muttered, heading back into the lab.

Three hours later, Pansy reappeared in the hallway, dressed in pale blue dress robes. “Where is he?” she muttered, looking around in frustration.

Just then she heard a crash and cursing from the lab. Eyes flashing, she stormed into the lab.

“Anthony Edward Stark, what in Merlin's name are you doing?” she shrieked, causing Tony to throw the file he was holding.

As papers rained down all around them, he looked at her sheepishly. “Would you believe solving world hunger?”

As Pansy pulled her wand from her sleeve, he held up his hands. “I'm going, I'm going! I'll be back before you can say 'Abracadabra”! Do you guys actually say that?” Flinching from the look in her beady eyes, he shrugged. “Not important. Back in a jiffy!”

Ten minutes later, Tony was back outside the lab, dressed in the robes she had given him.

“I feel ridiculous. Are all the guys going to be dressed like the crypt keeper?” Tony whined, tugging at his cuffs.

“Ridiculous? Those robes cost 120 galleons! You look dashing,” she said, straightening his collar. “Let's go.”

Taking his arm, she Apparated them to Malfoy Manor, landing in the foyer.

Dinner went smoothly, with the exception of Tony's incessant chatter about everything he thought he knew about elves. By the time he got to Keebler, Pansy was wishing the ground would open up and swallow her whole. It wasn't all bad though, as she could see Marcus eyeing her all through dessert. As the group broke up for drinks and dancing, Pansy grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into an alcove.

“Do you ever stop talking?” She hissed, her hands like claws on her arm.

“It's all a part of my charm, princess,” Tony grinned at her, eyes glassy from multiple glasses of goblin wine. “What's next? Gin distilled by fairies?”

Pansy rolled her eyes, then straightened when she saw Marcus heading their way. “Drink this,” she said, shoving a phial of blue liquid at Tony. 

“I would be lying if I said this was the first time I took an unknown substance simply at the urging of a pretty woman. Bottoms up!” Tony quipped, downing the liquid. Exhaling forcefully, he shook himself as the potion took effect. “Well that's disappointing. What was that?”

“Sober Up Potion. You're making an arse of yourself and it's embarrassing.”

“When you find what you're good at, you stick to it,” Tony smiled. “Is that gorilla looking guy your Marcus?” he asked, eyeing the roguish wizard up and down as he was waylaid by Theo.

“He doesn't look like a gorilla!” Pansy shrieked, causing Tony to wince and several heads to turn their way. 

“Easy there, princess. Thanks to your little trick I'm much too sober to be harped at. How about you make it up to me by getting me some unicorn vodka and I'll help you win your caveman back.”

“Urgh!” Pansy exclaimed, throwing up her hands. “Come on, there is Fire Whiskey in the lounge. 

“That sounds dangerous, better make it a double,” Tony said as he tried to keep up with Pansy as she marched into the smoky room.


End file.
